For ten years after his death, Victor Ham's home on the edge of town stood only as a reminder of the past. But no one went near it. An evil aura seemed to surround the place. Children told stories that is was haunted and constantly dared each other just to run up on the porch and ring the doorbell. No one was ever brave enough to attempt the feat.
No one, that is, until 1973. On November 11 of that year, ten years to the day after Victor Ham died, two anonymous sixteen year olds were dared to spend the night inside. They lasted about an hour before tearing out, screaming. One was babbling about walls that moved, rooms full of bones, mirrors that reflected thousands of images they could not see, and the greatest ice cream they had ever tasted. The other never spoke again.
In 1974, a contingent of six restaurateurs ventured into the house. Three weeks later, five of them emerged, looking like they had aged ten years in the process. Their spokesman (Matthew John James, son of the legendary Peter Bartholomew James) gave a very shaky press conference, announcing that the current residents of Victor Ham's home had agreed to open the You Scream Ice Cream Parlor in that spot. After making this pronouncement, he fainted on the spot.
Details of the meeting between James' group and the "residents" have never been discussed, nor has the disappearance of the sixth member of the group, who happened to be Howard Ham, Victor's son-in-law. Nonetheless, the You Scream Ice Cream Parlor opened on November 11, 1974, the eleventh anniversary of Victor Ham's death.
It's impossible to describe an experience inside the most haunted ice cream parlor in the world. When you enter, you have to search for the actual parlor, and it's always located in the last room you enter. Real horrors await you behind each door, but in order to find the ice cream, you have to face them all. Be comforted, however, that as part of their contract, the "residents" have agreed not to hurt anyone.
The experience is well worth it, as I'm sure you will agree once you have found the parlor and have sampled their ice cream. It's as if the powers that made Ham's Creamery so good inhabit this house, and are finally being given a chance to show their true talent.
Be warned, however - every November 11, the place shuts down for an "employee party." If you attempt to enter on this night, you will not get out alive. A total of five people have tried it so far. None have ever been seen again.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
You Scream Ice Cream, part I - The Tale of Victor Ham
In 1944, the town of Hamville was founded by the brothers Ham - Donald, Marcus, and Victor. They had a vision of a town that would enthrall the culinary world and bring in people from far and wide to sample exotic foods in unique environments. In this spirit, they invited many restaurateurs to begin eateries in the Hamville area, but the brothers started the town with their own places. Donald, the eldest, opened the Hamville Diner, which stayed open mostly due to its historical significance for 33 years before finally closing and becoming a museum of Hamville history in 1977, three years after Donald's death. Marcus, the middle brother, had more success with Ham's Deli, a sandwich shop that was the town's most popular lunch stop for nearly forty years. Marcus himself was working on new plans for the restaurant when he died in 1981, plans which were continued by his son Leonard. Ham's Deli closed in 1983, and reopened the next year as Sub Subs. Victor was the youngest brother, and it is the sad fate of his restaurant, Ham's Creamery, that led to the founding of the You Scream Ice Cream Parlor.
Ham's Creamery was universally acclaimed as one of, if not the greatest ice cream parlor in the world. Patrons were consistently amazed at the uniqueness of the flavors, and their superior quality. Victor was deluged with requests to package his product and sell it in a worldwide market, or at least to start a franchise. This was, of course, against everything the Hams stood for when they started the town, and Victor flatly refused every time an offer was made.
The Creamery thrived. Though many restaurants were appearing all over Hamville throughout the forties and fifties, still the Creamery remained the one place visitors could not get enough of. Victor's standing in the town, however, was always a source of contention among the residents. They would never discuss it in front of outsiders, but everyone in Hamville knew - Victor Ham was a lunatic.
Victor's house stood on the edge of town, with no neighbors on any side. While most of the Hamville residential areas were thriving, the area around Victor's house remained undeveloped. Passersby frequently noted the strange noises coming from the house, and the occasional bloodcurdling scream.
On November 11, 1963, Victor Ham was found dead in Ham's Creamery. He had not been seen in the restaurant for five years. At the age of 43, authorities did not want to rule out possible foul play, but it appeared that nothing was wrong. He seemed to have just died. The Creamery existed for another three years, but the magic was gone. Customers just couldn't find that spark in the ice cream anymore, and in 1966, the Creamery closed for good.
There was much talk about what to do with Ham's home. Some thought they could turn it into a museum, others wanted to tear it down and develop the area, others wanted put it on the market and allow someone to live in it. No one could decide, and the house sat in its place, untouched and falling slowly into disrepair, for the next ten years.
Ham's Creamery was universally acclaimed as one of, if not the greatest ice cream parlor in the world. Patrons were consistently amazed at the uniqueness of the flavors, and their superior quality. Victor was deluged with requests to package his product and sell it in a worldwide market, or at least to start a franchise. This was, of course, against everything the Hams stood for when they started the town, and Victor flatly refused every time an offer was made.
The Creamery thrived. Though many restaurants were appearing all over Hamville throughout the forties and fifties, still the Creamery remained the one place visitors could not get enough of. Victor's standing in the town, however, was always a source of contention among the residents. They would never discuss it in front of outsiders, but everyone in Hamville knew - Victor Ham was a lunatic.
Victor's house stood on the edge of town, with no neighbors on any side. While most of the Hamville residential areas were thriving, the area around Victor's house remained undeveloped. Passersby frequently noted the strange noises coming from the house, and the occasional bloodcurdling scream.
On November 11, 1963, Victor Ham was found dead in Ham's Creamery. He had not been seen in the restaurant for five years. At the age of 43, authorities did not want to rule out possible foul play, but it appeared that nothing was wrong. He seemed to have just died. The Creamery existed for another three years, but the magic was gone. Customers just couldn't find that spark in the ice cream anymore, and in 1966, the Creamery closed for good.
There was much talk about what to do with Ham's home. Some thought they could turn it into a museum, others wanted to tear it down and develop the area, others wanted put it on the market and allow someone to live in it. No one could decide, and the house sat in its place, untouched and falling slowly into disrepair, for the next ten years.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
The Global Village
It seems fitting to start our exploration of Hamville with its oldest remaining restaurant, the Global Village.
When the town of Hamville was founded by the Ham brothers in 1944, they wisely decided to establish a tourist trade by building fantastic and amazing restaurants that people would undoubtedly flock to. A number of visionary restaurateurs were invited to the town to build restaurants. Among them was the legendary Peter Bartholomew James. James (known more affectionately as PBJ) created restaurants of such grandeur that even the creations of the Hams paled in comparison. Three of his restaurants are still open to this day - Time After Time, The Model Depot, and The Global Village.
The layout of the Village is much the same today as it was in 1947, though it is considerably larger. You walk in the front gate and are surrounded by a vast array of ethnic foods. As you walk around, you find that you have left Hamville and are now traveling the earth. Here's a booth from Italy, adorned with replicas of some of the greatest art in the world. Here's a booth from India, with a sitar player bringing in customers. Here's a booth from Brazil, with bright decorative costumes on their employees. And that's only three of the one hundred countries whose native cuisines are represented at the Global Village.
Once you've chosen your meal, you are given a numbered flag that represents the country. You are welcome to sample from several countries, but once you're done, you move into the dining area. It's a large open area with many tables, covered by a roof, but with flags from all the countries dotting the room. As you find your table and look around what others are having, your food is being prepared by master chefs in one of the largest kitchens in the world, an underground behemoth that covers one full city block. The chefs are from all around the room, and all are skilled in several cuisines. The general public is not allowed in this area, but insiders say that it is one of the busiest places on earth. Looking around at the always packed dining area, it's not hard to believe it. When your food is ready, waiters bring it to you, based on your flags, so be sure to have them visible. If you ordered from different countries, do not expect your food to arrive at the same time.
Is it possible that such a massive enterprise can be profitable? The Global Village is consistently the single most popular restaurant in Hamville year after year. When it opened, it only featured ten cuisines - American, Brazilian, Chinese, German, Greek, Indian, Italian, Japanese, Mexican, and Thai. It expanded to twenty-five in 1960. In 1975, the GV shut down for a two year renovation. PBJ himself shut down the five restaurants surrounding the GV (they were all his), and converted the land into a larger Global Village. When the restaurant reopened in September of 1977, 90 countries were represented. In 1989, the total reached 100, and has stayed there since. Some of the booths are understandably smaller than others, due to popularity (Afghan food, while wonderful in its way, has nowhere near the following that Italian or Chinese). The GV is the largest employer in the Hamville area, with approximately 1000 people working at a time. But, yes, they make their money back and then some. For PBJ, however, it was never so much about the money as it was about bringing the food of the world to Hamville.
When the town of Hamville was founded by the Ham brothers in 1944, they wisely decided to establish a tourist trade by building fantastic and amazing restaurants that people would undoubtedly flock to. A number of visionary restaurateurs were invited to the town to build restaurants. Among them was the legendary Peter Bartholomew James. James (known more affectionately as PBJ) created restaurants of such grandeur that even the creations of the Hams paled in comparison. Three of his restaurants are still open to this day - Time After Time, The Model Depot, and The Global Village.
The layout of the Village is much the same today as it was in 1947, though it is considerably larger. You walk in the front gate and are surrounded by a vast array of ethnic foods. As you walk around, you find that you have left Hamville and are now traveling the earth. Here's a booth from Italy, adorned with replicas of some of the greatest art in the world. Here's a booth from India, with a sitar player bringing in customers. Here's a booth from Brazil, with bright decorative costumes on their employees. And that's only three of the one hundred countries whose native cuisines are represented at the Global Village.
Once you've chosen your meal, you are given a numbered flag that represents the country. You are welcome to sample from several countries, but once you're done, you move into the dining area. It's a large open area with many tables, covered by a roof, but with flags from all the countries dotting the room. As you find your table and look around what others are having, your food is being prepared by master chefs in one of the largest kitchens in the world, an underground behemoth that covers one full city block. The chefs are from all around the room, and all are skilled in several cuisines. The general public is not allowed in this area, but insiders say that it is one of the busiest places on earth. Looking around at the always packed dining area, it's not hard to believe it. When your food is ready, waiters bring it to you, based on your flags, so be sure to have them visible. If you ordered from different countries, do not expect your food to arrive at the same time.
Is it possible that such a massive enterprise can be profitable? The Global Village is consistently the single most popular restaurant in Hamville year after year. When it opened, it only featured ten cuisines - American, Brazilian, Chinese, German, Greek, Indian, Italian, Japanese, Mexican, and Thai. It expanded to twenty-five in 1960. In 1975, the GV shut down for a two year renovation. PBJ himself shut down the five restaurants surrounding the GV (they were all his), and converted the land into a larger Global Village. When the restaurant reopened in September of 1977, 90 countries were represented. In 1989, the total reached 100, and has stayed there since. Some of the booths are understandably smaller than others, due to popularity (Afghan food, while wonderful in its way, has nowhere near the following that Italian or Chinese). The GV is the largest employer in the Hamville area, with approximately 1000 people working at a time. But, yes, they make their money back and then some. For PBJ, however, it was never so much about the money as it was about bringing the food of the world to Hamville.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Welcome to Hamville!
Welcome to the official blog of the city of Hamville. Hopefully, this dining guide will help you in planning a trip to our city by enlightening you about some of the many unique dining experiences you'll find within our borders. For those of you who don't know much about Hamville, the town was founded in 1944 by the Ham brothers, and has thrived on its food industry ever since. With visionary restauranteurs like Peter Bartholomew James and Jack Lumpkin, the restaurants are like nothing you've ever seen. We hope to entice your taste buds with the selection, and also hope to see you here soon.
-Dr. Worm, Mayor of Hamville
-Dr. Worm, Mayor of Hamville
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