Amazing

If you watched TV at all in the late eighties-early nineties, you'll remember a show called "That's Amazing." It was one of those shows that is showed amazing feats, triumphs of the human spirit over nature and machinery, but it was really a showcase for idiots. You know, people whose greatest achievement was not being killed committing stupid acts. The show was immensely popular, and made a star of its host, Hamville's native son, Don Gibbons. His catchphrase on the show passed into the lexicon of the day. He would look at the camera and say, in his trademark slightly raspy voice, “That’s...” (here he would pause, close his eyes and inhale deeply through his nostrils, then would open his eyes and exhale the last word) “...amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing.”

In 1991, at the height of the show's popularity, "Amazing" Don decided to give something back to his hometown in the form of a restaurant. It was to be called "Amazing Don's", but that's all the input anyone could get out of him. Whenever anyone would ask him a question about the restaurant, he would always give the same response.

"Hey, Don, what kind of food should we serve?"
"Food that tastes..." (eyes closed, deep breath through nostrils) “...amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing.”

"Hey, Mr. Gibbons, how should we design the restaurant?"
"Make it look..." (eyes closed, deep breath through nostrils) “...amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing.”

"So, Amazing Don, any idea what theme we should have?"
"One that's..." (eyes closed, deep breath through nostrils) “...amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing.”

And so on. The designers were, of course, extremely frustrated by this, and finally settled down to work, resigned to the fact that they were on their own.

The design they came up with was fairly brilliant. Making a pun out of the "Amazing Don's" name, they drew up the restaurant to be a giant maze. Upon arrival, customers would be taken by way of straight outer passages, to one of six dining rooms located throughout the restaurant. Once in the dining room, they could not leave (bathrooms were attached to each dining room). They would order their food, enjoy each other's company, and when it was time to leave, they would have to find their way through the maze. There would be multiple paths that would lead to the exit, but many false paths as well. The designers also planned for an elaborate surveillance system so the staff could collect people that got lost, or who had not emerged by closing time.

"Amazing" Don hated the idea. He threatened all sorts of lawsuits, firings, and mutilations. However, once he had calmed down (and his lawyers had informed him that he didn't have a leg to stand on, having not given the designers any direction regarding the restaurant), he simply removed his name from the project.

Fortunately for the designers, the other investors loved the idea, and in 1994, the restaurant, now called Amazing, opened. To date, no one has gotten lost forever, though some people have vanished for several hours. Everyone is given a signal so they can let the staff know if they need help, but it doesn't get used as often as one might think.

Coincidentally, "That's Amazing" was cancelled in the same year. "Amazing" Don Gibbons faded from public sight, and ended up putting his remaining money into another Hamville restaurant called The Sixteenth Minute.