The Psychic Grill

If you've ever been to the Psychic Grill, you'll know that it's an experience like no other. If you've never been, there's no point in me trying to convince you to go, because they already know if you will or not.

In 1983, local seer Edgar Simon Percival decided to get into the restaurant business in Hamville by opening up a venture called the Psychic Grill. When interviewed about it, he simply said that it was inevitable. The small restaurant opened, and immediately reports came out that it was the fastest dining experience anyone had ever had. It wasn't that they were in and out so fast, just that their food was ready as soon as it was ordered.

Following is an interview conducted with Mr. Percival for this, the 25th anniversary of the opening of the restaurant.

BLOGLISH DINING GUIDE: Thanks for speaking to us, Mr. Percival.
EDGAR SIMON PERCIVAL: Thank you for following destiny's path.

BDG: Can you tell us how what a diner can expect when they come to the Psychic Grill?
ESP: Diners will come in and be seated immediately because we know their exact time. If they're planning to come at another time than we'll be ready, we call ahead to ask them to change their plans. A vast majority do, but some are stubborn and show up at the wrong time anyway.

BDG: Why is that?
ESP: Usually, it's a determination to expose us as frauds.

BDG: OK, so diners show up and are seated. What happens next?
ESP: Just like any normal restaurant, we take their order. We often get asked, as you were about to do, why we don't just serve their meals since we know ahead of time what they'll be ordering. The answer is the same as before...people are convinced that we're faking it, and if we served them before we order, they'd just insist that it wasn't what they were going to order.

BDG: That's dishonest of them. I mean, if they know they're liars...
ESP: But they can convince themselves that they're right. And they can convince others that they're right. Therefore, we let them order to protect ourselves. We get some very strange orders from people thinking they're pulling something out of left field they think we'll never anticipate. We do have a dedicated group of regulars who don't even bother with the menu anymore, just trust us to know what they want.

BDG: What kinds of food do you serve?
ESP: All kinds. We're a grill, so we mostly focus on meats, but we have vegetarian dishes as well.

BDG: How does the bill work? I assume you know the tip your customers will leave.
ESP: We do, but again, we leave it up to the customer. It's better if they think that they're in charge of that. We do get stiffed by some those customers who are convinced we're frauds, but for the most part, people are generous. We have a strict policy of serving everyone in the same manner, regardless of the tip they will leave.

BDG: I just have to ask...can you tell me what question I'm going to ask next?
ESP: I'm sorry?

BDG: The next question I'm going to ask you. Tell me what it is.
ESP: I'm sorry?

BDG: Perhaps I'm not making myself clear...
ESP: No, you are. That's the next question you're gong to ask..."I'm sorry?"

BDG: I'm sorry?
ESP: There you go.

BDG: Some of your critics attack you for using your psychic ability to run a restaurant and make money instead of exercising any civic responsibility and trying to prevent disasters. How do you respond to that?
ESP: The thing you have to understand is that psychic ability only works in concentrated doses. By focusing all the telekinetic energy into the Psychic Grill, we are able to work efficiently and accurately. If we try to spread the influence, the future becomes much harder to predict. Therefore, preventing an assassination or warning people in advance of a disastrous natural event is nearly impossible, while predicting what people will have to eat for dinner is quite easy, as long as we keep it within the sphere of the Grill.

BDG: Well, thank you very much for joining us today, Mr. Percival, and congratulations on a successful first 25 years. Will I be seeing you again soon?
ESP: Absolutely.